Mental Health / Depression

Surviving on My Own Since Parents Passed Away, Feeling Directionless

Surviving on My Own Since Parents Passed Away, Feeling Directionless


  1980      20/04/2015

Question –

Hello sir, I am Anand and I am 28 years of age. I have done a graduation in psychology and as well as have done some diplomas in computer application. My parents passed away and I have been surviving on my own since 2002 (DOB 07-01-1987). From the beginning, I am an average student and belong to a poor background.

Right-now I am working in a government department as a computer assistant for 5 years on contractual basis and parallel I have been preparing for the government job and appearing in the examination from same years but I am yet to get success. I am not much qualified and I am getting little salary in this job that's why I am also trying to get job in abroad for fat salary. I want to ask that I simply don't get that what should I do how to identify my goals, so that I could lead my life. Sir, I am really depressed and fed-up with my life. Please help me in this regard sir. I will be highly obliged. Thank you.
- Anand


Expert Advice –

Dear Anand,

Even Dhirubhai Ambani was a son of small time school teacher and himself a petrol attendant in a petrol pump in Yemen, a Middle Eastern country. He went to create some of the biggest private companies in the country taking India to the world map. So my friend doesn’t lose heart. If he can do that even you can. Just have patience. Things will happen surely. Have you heard about Colonel Sanders the founder of KFC which has presence around the world? Do you know after his retirement when he wanted to sell his chicken recipe to franchisees, more than 1008 restaurants refused to buy his recipe?

Colonel Sanders didn’t lose hope kept on trying and finally the 1009th restaurant decided to work with him and use his recipe. Well the rest became history. Today KFC is a worldwide company loved by one and all. Colonel Sanders in turn became a highly successful person. If an old man like him can become highly successful then why can’t a young man like you? And you know what made Sanders so successful? His belief in himself and a never say die attitude coupled with hard work and perseverance. So to begin with, start having believing in yourself, that you can be highly successful. Put in hard work and persevere without losing hope and success will be yours.

Now let’s see what you can do with your career. First quickly identify your goals commensurate with your qualifications and your aptitude and start in right earnest going after your goals. But then it’s also important that you get emotional about your goals when you are setting them. First intensify yourself about your goals while setting them then only you will take action to achieve them otherwise your goal will only remain your New Year resolutions and after sometime will fade away.

Since you have a diploma in computers I suggest you carry on in this field only. If possible save some money or raise it and do a good IT course in the evening batch. A whole lot of opportunity awaits you in the IT sector. Depending on your aptitude If IT is not your calling, and you would want to go in the corporate sector you can do online MBA which can help you get a good career oriented job in the private sector where quick promotions and increase in salary can happen if you put in all your effort with passion and intensity.

Also my friend, change the language in which you speak to yourself or to the world. I am depressed, I am fed up – these are language of pessimists and losers. Which you surely are not. Haven’t you survived and lived in this world despite losing your parents? How brave you are my friend. You truly are a man among the boys. Hats off to you. You actually motivate me Anand.

So lose your negative words as soon as possible and exchange them with positive words. Whether you are talking to yourself or to the world, use positive language always. Like, I am the power, I am resourceful, I am great, I am unbeatable, I am unstoppable. Say, I have the resources to be a highly successful person.  Keep on visualizing yourself as doing great in your career while taking massive actions towards attainment of your goals.

So far going abroad is concerned; I’ll suggest, first prepare yourself with required knowledge and skills and then try for it.

- Jamal Shah



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