Hi I am basically a very shy person; I recently got married and was engaged to a person from past few years ago. He is keen about sex life but I was not allowing him because of my beliefs in marriage ritual. Now we are married, but I cannot support him in sex, as his penis is very large and I feel I have very tight path. After many failed attempts, he has lost interest in me.
He believed me, now because of which he is not at all bothered about me. I don’t want something like this affect my life like this. I try but he is not ready due to the failure in the past few attempts. Please help me come out of this. I can never imagine my life without love from him. I am literally failing to give or take any joy. I inserted my small little finger which went in, but feel difficult to add another. I don’t have any idea how to come out or get support. Can my problem be solved? Please help me.
Expert advice –
You might be suffering from a situation called vaginismus, in which, due to vaginal spasm, partner cannot penetrate his penis completely inside vagina. Usually, people often tend to avoid being with their partner if they are not having a good sex life.
Actually, vagina is an elastic tubular structure which can accommodate any sized penis if properly stimulated and aroused.
This condition occurs due to the subconscious fear of pain in your mind so that without your knowledge the vagina is tightened on trial of insertion of finger (s) or penis and also due to inadequate arousal.
The treatment of this problem is sex therapy which is a special type of counseling & talk therapy, in which couples are prescribed of certain exercises which they have to perform at their privacy. Sex therapy empowers the couple with relevant scientific knowledge regarding sexuality and skills alleviate fear for pain and performance anxiety. It also creates an attitudinal change so that the couple can enjoy the sexual activity to the utmost pleasure without aversion.
Dr A Chakravarthy