Relationship / Pre Marital Issues

My Engagement Was Fixed With My Boyfriend But Suddenly My Parents Went Against This Relationship, Help!

My Engagement Was Fixed With My Boyfriend But Suddenly My Parents Went Against This Relationship, Help!


  2997      16/09/2015

Question - 

Hi, I am 19 years old and currently pursuing my studies. I am in love with a boy, he is 25 years old. It all started 3 years ago as a long distance relationship. From friendship, our relationship grew deeper into love. And by love I mean actual real love which turns into a pure and unbreakable bond of marriage.

After 2 months of being in a relationship one day my parents got to know about it. I told them everything from the very start. I told them that we are serious about each other, and see our future lives as a married couple. At first they were totally against it as I was a minor. But after much efforts of convincing them they finally agreed after a few months. It was all going fine. I turned 18 last year. And then as I cleared my 12th class examination my parents allowed me to come to the same city in which my boyfriend resides, to be more clear to a different state as mine.

I joined college here. During all this time there were talks in my family of our engagement, the talks soon turned into a fixed and final day. i.e.23rd of october.2015. Evrything was going fine, suddenly one day they became totally against of all this and started to find silly reasons for delaying our engagement. The whole story of it cannot be explained. But at the end, at present they are not willing to get us married niether in future nor at any day forever.

Please help me in taking a wise decision. I would like to add that my boyfriend has a decent job and he is willing to take all my responsibility. Should I go against my parents and marry him, breaking all my bonds with my parents. Pls suggest me. I really need help.


Expert Advice:

Dear xxx,

I can see that your situation is a little tough and there's a lot of apprehension as to what might have happened. But it's always good to remember the Newton's law, "for any action, there's an equal and opposite reaction". Hence, I honestly feel that something must have happened which your parents are totally aware about, which might have influenced their decisions.

One thing for surely, that no parents will ever do anything which will bring bad name to their own daughter,and if they've taken any such step, there must be something very serious and important behind it. I suggest for once, you try to listen to their actual reasons, and not the ones they give you to keep you off the hidden reality. You are quite young to realise the harsh realities of life, and so do your parents feel. This is why they are being so protective of you, which is very genuine and good for your future as well. All what I mean to say is that you should have faith in your parents for whatever they are doing, and try to talk to them about the pro's and con's of their decisions.

If you feel that they are doing this out of their concern for your better future, consider their decision. It is always important to be unbiased to all the aspects of a situation in order to make a better life decision. So you should also try to be considerate towards your parents and not be biased towards a person you've hardly known from past 2 months. I know relationship is equally important even if long distance, but you never know the reality of the person, especially when the majority time of your relationship has been long distances. You should try to be respectful and considerate of your parent's decision and try to know the reality behind the blind love you have with your boyfriend. Everything happens for good; you never know what goodness will this decision bring to you.


Take care! 
- Kannupriya



Pratibha Singh
Greater Noida

Dr Mini Rao

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