Relationship / One sided love

In A Relationship With A Girl 10 Years Older Than Me, She Ignores Me

In A Relationship With A Girl 10 Years Older Than Me, She Ignores Me

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  2149      16/07/2015

Question –

 

I love one girl and she works with me but she is on a higher post, she is divorced and we have 10 years age difference. I don't have any problem with that but from a few days her behavior is changed and I was feeling insecure so I asked her about our relationship, she simply told me that she just likes me but she don't have any value and time for love. I asked her these things before we slept with each other but she ignored. Now I am completely involved in her and now I got this answer from her.

 

I don't know how to react, she has lots of other male friends in office and she is over friendly with them, but I was in the influence that she loves me. I trust her a lot and now I am blaming myself for being an emotional fool. If you really help me in this case I will be so much thankful to you.
- Navin

 

 

Expert Advice –

 

Dear Navin,

Thank you for the query. You are going through difficult time in relationship and you are being unable to take the right decision. Some information is missing in your query. If you had also mentioned about both of your ages and how long you had been dating the girl, it would be easier for me to help you.

 

You are worried about her changing behavior which is making you insecure. I appreciate that you put forward your insecurities with her and tried to understand your relationship. Please note that she said she had only liked you and she actually did not value love. I can make out a couple of hypothesis from her answer. First, it could be that she had experienced disloyalty and disrespect in her past relationship which has restricted her to make commitments in her current relationship. Second, from the beginning that she was not committed to this relationship. Whatever it might be, you have been hurt from her response as you were committed to the relationship.

 

I am not quite sure if your relationship will work our out or not but I suggest you to prepare for the worst possible scenario. Just imagine that if it ends, you will be the one who needs to deal with the pain. It is quite obvious that whenever there is an issue in the relationship, we go through the pain; and in order to get healed with the pain, time is an important factor. If you are hurt, this time or any other time in your life, share the pain with the trustworthy friends as this helps a lot. If you continue self-blame and guilt feeling, it will have adverse effect on your physical and mental health; and hamper your self-esteem. It’s not your fault to love her, so stop blaming yourself.  

 

My advice is that you talk these things clearly to settle down things: either you continue with commitment or you end the relationship. Please, shift your focus and try to get involved in other activities you enjoy. Rethink to see and understand other priorities in your life, and you’ll be alright.

 

Thank you,
- Tara Adhikari




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