I am in my 4th year of b tech and I have backlog in 5 subjects my CGPA is 4 and I will have to do 1 more year of college. I have not told my parents about all this and they are going to be very mad at me when they know this. I have no hope or motivation to complete my degree, my depression right now is at its peak. I can’t sleep, can’t eat properly, and can’t do anything. It’s like dying a little every day. My parents have given lot of money for my college fees and when they know this, I don’t know what to do, they care a lot about family name in society and relatives, I just don’t want to be a loser in life and end up dead.
Expert Advice –
I can see that it is difficult for you to open up about your worries, anxieties and tensions with anyone in your family, considering the repercussions. It is very much clear from your statement that your family might correlate your poor performance with the family name and you might have to go through a lot of difficult time in your family. However, I'd want you to remember that family is always a very important support system in anyone's life. So is yours?
You told that they have been supporting your studies financially throughout. What else proof would you need to understand that they are very much willing to support you through?
Look! One thing you need to understand is that when your parents are spending so much on your education and are supporting you through all your needs, you definitely are accountable and answerable to them. If you've made any mistake or done something which you shouldn't have, it's obvious that they might not like it or scold you a lot or punish you for that matter. But all said and done, at the end of the day, ones who'll help you find better solutions to your problems and help you come out of your depression is your family only.
My suggestion to you would be -
1. Try to not stay alone these days.
2. Think and re-think about your situations, and make sure to communicate your concerns to your parents. It's always said, “mistakes are lessons, if committed once, when repeated, it becomes your choice."
So don't let your poor performance become your choice, otherwise it'll lead to serious consequences for you and your family. Rather apologise for your mistakes and ask them to help you find solutions.
3. In case of you are unable to resolve your concerns effectively, talk to a professional counselor/psychologist for assistance in details.
4. Write all your concerns on a sheet of paper and list down people or resources which can help you overcome all those concerns/problem. Find out for yourself ways which can help you seek betterment.
Remember:communicating and surrendering your faults doesn't harm you in the long run. It might feel a hard way through, but eventually family always help one find better and long term solutions. I know it's easier said than done. But you never know how strong you are until that's the only thing left to do.
Believe in your family's willingness to help you make your future and share your worries with them, instead of feeling guilty about it and eventually falling sick.
Take care !