In India, even adults don’t feel comfortable while ‘Talking about sex’. So, it may look a little weird and daring to talk about it with parents in teenage but AdviceAdda believes young generation goes through multiple complications just because they are not able to talk about their ‘Sexual Anxieties’ with their parents. Though it is not easy to initiate the ‘Sex Talk’ with parents in Indian stereotypical society still, you can always try it. It can help you in avoiding lots of mistakes in your life that might disturb your life and relationships forever.
It looks impossible but it’s not
You probably think that talking to your parents about sex is impossible. But you're not alone; most of the teenagers of your age are afraid to ask their parents about sex. With the horrible increase in teen pregnancy cases in India, it has become really important for teens to open up on these issues before it’s too late for them.
The truth is that most parents want to help their kids make smart decisions about sexual anxieties. They know it's vital for teens to have accurate information and sound advice to aid the decision-making process but even they are hesitant because of their traditional mindset. So, the responsibility comes on you to break the ice. We are going to explain exactly how you can make it possible.
First Thing to Do
Before you rule out talking to your parents, ask yourself these two questions:
> Do they want to talk about it with me, but are too nervous and embarrassed to bring it up?
If you think your parents are really nervous about raising the issue, you're probably right. Many parents think that if they acknowledge their child as a sexual being, their son or daughter will think it's okay to go ahead and have sex. They might also be afraid that if they don't have all the answers, they'll look foolish. Some parents have said they're afraid because they think their kids will ask personal questions about their sex life, questions they won't want to answer.
> Do I know and trust another adult who will answer my questions without making a big deal out of it?
Think about all the adults in your life. Is there someone else's parent . . .a teacher or guidance counselor, coach, aunt, uncle, neighbor or another adult you instinctively trust? That's the person who will give you straight answers.
If you're still not convinced it's a good idea to talk to an adult, consider this :
- Your parents (or any other adult) are sexual beings themselves and at one time in their life, they had to make the same decisions that you're struggling with right now.
- Your friends really don't know anything more than you do, no matter what they say about their sexual experience.
- The Internet, and other media, can't give you everything you need. Only people who know you can do that.
Now that you know why it's important to ask a caring adult about sex, you need to know how to ask the questions.
First, Create an Environment
- Try to pick a time when neither of you are in a hurry or a bad mood. "Not now" is not the answer you're shooting for.
- Choose a place that's comfortable and private. Your bedroom, the car or a park are all good options. The idea is to minimize distractions and interruptions.
Set the tone
The best way to ensure that your side of the discussion will be respected, is to show respect to theirs. It's natural for you to have differing opinions; acknowledge it and respond tactfully: "I want to think more about what you've said. Can I ask you a different question?"
- Be polite. Good manners help keep the conversation on a high level of respect and can even elevate it to a higher level, especially if one of you says or does something "wrong."
- Be truthful. What's the point in asking questions if you don't want real answers? Besides, you know what happens when you're not honest. Somehow, sometime it comes back to haunt you. So just say what you mean.
- Be direct. If you want to know about birth control or sexually transmitted diseases or infections (STDs/STIs) or homosexuality or any other sensitive issue, ask. The only way to get a clear answer is to ask a question clearly.
- Listen. You might be surprised by how much they know and how good their advice is.
Choose your approach
- "I heard someone say..." (Fill in the blank with your question.) Then follow with: "Is that true?"
- "Some of the kids at school are doing... (Fill in the blank again.) I want to know what you think."
- "I saw this... (movie/TV show/article/ad) about... (Yup, fill in the blank again). What does it mean?"
- "What was dating like when you were my age?"
- "Did your friends try to pressure you into having sex or doing something you didn't like?"
- "I'm worried about my friend (Don't fill in the blank.) and want to help him/her. What do you think I should I do?"
- "I'm wondering what the right age is to have sex. Can we talk about it?"
Stop on a good note
Talking about sex with a parent or another caring adult shouldn't be a one-time, big talk. Instead, turn it into an ongoing dialog by leaving the door open for further discussion. Thank your mother, father or whoever you talk to for taking the time to help.
And remember: Your sexual journey is just beginning. You have the time to consider your options and people to help you make healthy decisions. Take advantage of both. Be one of the "lucky" ones who listens, learns and loves wisely.