Relationship / Family Issues

How Can I Improve Relationship With My Indian Parents Who Are Not Very Vocal & Open

How Can I Improve Relationship With My Indian Parents Who Are Not Very Vocal & Open

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  1880      05/01/2016

Question –


Hello,

What are the general expectations of parents who have a 23 years old daughter, who is also the only child and born after ten years of their wedlock. Expectations in terms of life, her marriage, finances etc.


Since Indian parents are not very vocal of the expectations and only think of settling down their offspring in a marriage, what are the other things that the child should know and be able to understand better to improve the parents-child relationship for the happiness of all. It's not about fulfilling all the expectations and compromising heavily, but to gain an insight and understanding of parent’s mindset.

Thanks.

 

Expert Advice –


Hello,


Thank you for your question, it is wonderful for a daughter to seek to understand her parents, and in my opinion, this attitude itself will create headway for better relationships.


It is extremely hard to generalize what a parent would expect from their child. I know of parents who are completely comfortable with their daughter living in with a foreigner in another country, whereas others are desperate enough to force their 28 year old into marriage with almost anyone agreeing to marry her, as she is 'too old'. People are different, so are parents. To gain a deep insight into the expectations and desires of someone else, it is not as necessary for the other to be vocal about it, but for one to deeply listen.


Verbal communication forms a very small percentage of actual communication - much is communicated through body language and gestures, and we would know if only we made the effort to truly listen. You don't need to understand body language, or spend time trying to analyze every gesture - just totally being there when you are around your parents, will change things.


When you are with them, listen with your whole body - don't try to come up with responses when they are speaking, don't try to analyze what they are saying or doing, just observe, listen. Although it sounds like a trivial thing to do, it is a very easy and effective way of transforming perspectives and relationships, often within a week even.


All the Best and Take Care
- Ashwita Goel




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