Mental Health / Childhood Trauma

Bitter Memories From My Childhood Still Haunt Me, Unable To Stay Happy

Bitter Memories From My Childhood Still Haunt Me, Unable To Stay Happy


  2371      17/04/2015

Question –

I am a working lady. I am working in media field. My problem is I am not happy; I am not satisfied with my life, with my work. Actually my life is very beautiful. I have very loving and caring family. My husband cares for me so much. But sometime I feel that I could have done so much which gave me satisfaction but I couldn’t. I have some bitter memories from childhood. Sometime I feel that I have some problem which is related to those memories. So what can I do for my happiness? 



Expert Advice –

There is a little confusion here. First you say you are not happy and not satisfied with your life and work, and then you say your life is very beautiful with a loving husband and family.

Do I take it then career wise you aren’t really contended while family wise you have no complaints? Well then if it is your career, I will suggest you look back at it and see what have been your achievements. If you can’t find any ask this question, “what are the things I still can achieve which I haven’t yet”, then plan out how you can achieve them and quickly take the first action towards its achievement.

You yourself say you can do so much then what’s stopping you? What do you do in the media?  In this age of information there is so much you can do. So many opportunities are there for you in this field to exploit. To begin with ask a couple of questions to yourself:


  1. If you are not happy with your career, then what do you do to better it.
  2. What are the opportunities in your field to further your career and how do you go about it, what knowledge you need, what skills you need then if you don’t have them currently then go attain them and with conviction get started in your quest to greatness with aplomb and gusto.


To do this of course you will have to get emotional about your career, your success and your achievements. Always remember success is 80:20. 80% of your success depends upon your psychology, your emotions that you bring to the table. 20% of your success comes through how to do a thing. Learning how to do something is easy. So much information is available today. You can learn online, attend webinars and workshops, read books etc. Getting emotional about success is difficult. Especially if you are negative about yourself. So first thing first, get emotional about your life, about your career, about your family. Think of how once you achieve success how you can give your loving family everything they need and are currently missing. Be positive about yourself and you will find things getting easier for you.


So far your childhood memory coming in your way to success is concerned; well you are lucky enough to have a loving and caring family. This must be reason enough for you to throw all your bitter childhood memories out the window forthwith. Actually you should have done it by now.


Do one thing right now. Go to the wall and put both your hands on it. Have you done it? Well, good. Now use all your might and try to push the wall hard. Go…….


Well, well has the wall moved even a little?


Am sure you have not been able to move the wall even an inch. Do you know why?

Because you just simply can’t do it. Nobody can. Walls are walls they will remain where they are. The same is with your worries and bitter memories of the past. You can’t do anything about them. Why to worry about a thing you have no control over? What’s done can’t be undone. So why worry about them even a bit and put yourself under pressure unnecessarily?  So just forget them right now, right away and move on. You have to worry about the things that are under your control, your career for instance, your achievements and your family. It would be better if you started looking for ways and means and got emotional about how to make your career and do well in your life for yourself and your family than something that happened long ago. And you will be happy forever.



All the best!!!

- Jamal Shah



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